Rus in Urbe

Desember 10, 2008 at 7 : 24 113 Kommentaar

diere1 

Ek is gek oor die Dieretuin.  In die sin dat ek daar sou gewoon het as ek kon.  Ek kom nie naastenby so baie in die dieretuin as Willekind nie, maar steeds gereeld genoem om van die diere met die hand te groet.  Letterlik.

Dr Jan Boudewyn Gunning is die man wat Nasionale Zoëlogiese Tuine in Pretoria gestig het.  Gunning was die kurator van die Staatsmuseum.  Hy het ‘n klompie diere en voëls agter die museum aangehou, wat veronderstel was om gestop te word.  Gunning het aan ‘n beter manier gedink om hulle ten toon te stel.

Hy het verneem dat die regering die plaas, Rus in Urbe, in 1895 gekoop het met die doel om ‘n dieretuin daar te vestig.  ‘n Klompie jong mans het op die plaas gebly, dus kon Gunning nie dadelik werk met sy diere maak nie.  Die tweede vryheidsoorlog in 1899 het die jong mans na die slagveld weggeneem.  Gunning het die mense rondom die museum opgesteek om oor die stank van die diere te kla.  Hy het toestemming gekry om die diere op 21 Oktober 1899 na die plaas te skuif.  Dit was die begin van die dieretuin.  Gunning was tot in 1914 die kurator van die dieretuin.

Dr Alwin Karl Haagner het die leisels by hom oorgeneem.  Daardie tyd het was daar nie geld om die versameling diere uit te brei nie.   Haagner het toegelaat dat die dieretuin as ‘n halfwegstasie gebruik word vir diere wat onderweg was na Europa of Amerika.  Sodoende kon die Pretorianers meer soorte diere sien as wat die dieretuin besit het.

In 1927 het Dr Rudolph Bigalke leierskap oorgeneem.   Hy het die dieretuin begin uitbrei en moderniseer.  Dit het die uitfasering van die klein hokke vir die diere begin.  Sy belangrikste bydrae was seker die ontwikkeling van die bergarea.  Die kampe is vandag nog die huis van die leeus en tiere. 

Dr Frank Brand het in 1962 by Bigalke oorgeneem.  Brand het die dieretuin ontwikkel wat ons vandag sien.  Hy het besluit dat diere nie een een in hokke aangehou moet word nie.  Hy het daaraan gewerk om ‘n meer natuurlike omgewing vir die diere te ontwikkel.  Brand het ook die gebruik dat die diere die besoekers moet vermaak uitgeroei.  Die opleiding van diere is ten strengste verbied. 

Brand was ook verantwoordelik vir die stigting van Bewaarings Sentrums wat hulle toespits op die teel van bedreigde spesies.  Die 6000 ha sentrum in Lichtenburg is in 1974 gestig.  Hulle spesialiseer in die teel van wit renosters, takbokke, Kaapse zebra’s ens.  Die 1000 ha sentrum in Mokapane (Potgietersrus) is in 1981 gestig en konsentreer op swart renosters, lemurs en tsessebes. 

Vir ten minste die afgelope 10 jaar word die dieretuin meer gemoderniseer.  Met my laaste besoek, kon ek vir die eerste keer die verbeteringe sien.  Nee, die lemureiland en robeiland is nog nie oop nie, maar daar is beslis meer diere.  Selfs ‘n tweede leeuhok waar jy ou vuilbaard se kop kan krap as jy genoeg guts het.  (Moet net nie gevang word nie.)

Deesdae skree elke radio advertensie dat ‘n mens die kinders Gold Reef City toe te neem.  Ek skree neem hulle dieretuin toe.  Dit is opvoedkundiger en daar is nie rye om die vermaak te geniet nie.  Dit is boonop goedkoper ook.

Hou jy van die dieretuin of verkies jy die wildtuin?  Hoe ervaar jy gewoonlik die dieretuin?  Hoe kan die dieretuin ervaring verbeter word?  Hoe vermaak jy jou kinders in vakansies?

Blogvraag:  Wie staan op die oomblik aan die hoof van die Pretoria Dieretuin?

Blogantwoord:  Die koningin van Skeba was Makeda.

Entry filed under: Uncategorized. Tags: .

Drie, nee vier dinge Blerrie huiswerk

113 Kommentaar Add your own

  • 1. olga  |  Desember 10, 2008 om 7 : 41

    eerste.

  • 2. Adrie  |  Desember 10, 2008 om 7 : 48

    Wipneus het laat weet dat haar vriendin se koors gebreek is en dat die gevaar verby is.

  • 3. olga  |  Desember 10, 2008 om 8 : 03

    hey daar. ek is bly dat wip se vriendin se koors gebreek is. nou wil ek egter met jou stry. die mens wie deur koning salomo did koningin van skeba genoem was, het egter baie name gehad. ek het gewonder watter naam gaan jy gebruik.

  • 4. olga  |  Desember 10, 2008 om 8 : 06

    is clifford nxomani die hoof van pta dieretuin?

  • 5. olga  |  Desember 10, 2008 om 8 : 15

    Die vrou wat die koningin van skeba genoem was, was deur die arabiers – malkat shva, die herbreers – nigista saba, ethiopiers – makeda, islam – bilqis en die romeine as nicaula bekend.

  • 6. Adrie  |  Desember 10, 2008 om 8 : 17

    Olga

    Dit is waar, verskillende mense het haar verskillend genoem. Vir haar mense was sy Makeda.

  • 7. olga  |  Desember 10, 2008 om 8 : 44

    Dus was sy n ethiopier. dan het sy soos ek en klip gelyk. maer arms en bene, b aie pens. wha ha ha ha.

  • 8. Adrie  |  Desember 10, 2008 om 9 : 04

    Haar koninkryk was in n deel wat vandag bekend staan as Ethopie.

  • 9. Krista  |  Desember 10, 2008 om 9 : 11

    Bwhaaaaaaaahahahaha @ Boudewyn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😀

  • 10. olga  |  Desember 10, 2008 om 9 : 20

    boudewyn is seker oubaas se seun. van dooswyn het ek al gehoor. maar boudewyn is seker timjan.

  • 11. olga  |  Desember 10, 2008 om 9 : 23

    Worpress of vodacom is vanaand vol kak.

  • 12. Adrie  |  Desember 10, 2008 om 9 : 35

    Seker altwee. 👿

    Krista

    Die arme man, bless his soul, se naam was regtig Boudewyn.😆 Geen tikfout nie.

  • 13. Adrie  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 7 : 13

    More almal.

  • 14. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 7 : 35

    More mense !!!

  • 15. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 7 : 41

    wat is urbe ?

  • 16. Klip  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 7 : 52

    Goeie more almal!!

  • 17. Klip  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 7 : 53

    A young couple was in their honeymoon suite
    on their wedding night. As they undressed for bed,
    the husband, who was a big burly bruiser, tossed his
    pants to his bride and said, “Here, put these on.”

    She put them on and the waist was twice the size
    of her body. “I can’t wear your pants,” she said.

    “That’s right and don’t forget it,” said the husband.
    “I’m the man in this family.”

    With that, she flipped him her panties and said,
    “Try these on.” He tried them on and found he could
    only get them on as far as his kneecaps.

    He said, “Hell, I can’t get into your panties.”

    She said, “That’s right, and that’s the way it’s
    going to be until your f**king attitude changes!”

  • 18. Klip  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 7 : 53

    Een oggend na pouse toe die sub-b klas terugkeer vind die juffrou iemand het gebollie op die vloer voor die swartbord. Na ‘n lang gegiggel kry sy die klas om te kalmeer en vra wie dit gedoen het. Niemand antwoord nie.

    Sy vra toe vir al die kinders om op hulle arms te lê en dan maak sy ook so. Die een wat die bollie gelos het moet dan vorentoe stap, dit optel en “jammer klas” op die bord skryf. Sy belowe dat sy ook nie sal kyk wie dit is nie.

    Na so 2 minutes met almal se koppe op hul arms hoor die juffrou hoe iemand se stoeltjie stadig uitskuif, voetstappe tot by die swartbord, ‘n gegriffel met kryt, ‘n gegriffel op die vloer, voetstappe terug en ‘n stoeltjie wat terug skuif.

    Met hoop maak sy haar oë oop en kyk met skok na die vloer na ‘n tweede bollie en op die bord staan: “Die skim k a k weer”

  • 19. Adrie  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 7 : 59

    Ek het geen idee nie, Zoekoe. Net die naam van die plaas?

  • 20. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 02

    watse plaas? ? ? ek mis iets !!!

  • 21. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 05

    toemaar…. ek dink ek het dit gevind

  • 22. ADRIANA  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 05

    Die plaas waarop die dieretuin gevestig is.

    Het jy nie die post gelees nie?

  • 23. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 07

    🙄

  • 24. Adrie  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 12

    Dit help niks.

    Help nie eers ek vra jou wat het jy gistermiddag gedoen het nie.

  • 25. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 15

    ja ! ek het gistermiddag gaat Gym !!

  • 26. Adrie  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 20

    Arme gym!!!

  • 27. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 21

    Arme gym ? ? ? Arme fokken ek !!!

  • 28. Adrie  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 24

    Jy doen dit aan jouself. Die gym het nie ‘n keuse nie.

  • 29. Adrie  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 26

    Gaan dieretuin toe. Daar doen jy in ‘n japtrap 10 000 tree, al is die wandelpaaie glo net 6.2 km lank. Jy kan dit doen terwyl jy drink. Jy kan selfs braai ook.

  • 30. White Knight  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 27

    Dagse Julle

    Ek geniet die Dieretuin baie, maar verkies die Johannesburg dieretuin bo Pretoria Dieretuin slegs vir een rede, Daar is behoorlike parkering.😡

    Adrie, ek belowe sodra die werk my minder besig hou vat ek jou dieretuin toe, enige een van Pretoria of Johannesburg en as jy jou mooi soet gedra, kom kuier ons almal een keer ‘n maand vir jou daar.😈😆😛

    Groete

  • 31. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 28

    hulle het my geld…..

  • 32. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 37

    Dieretuine is boring….. die arme diere staan net daar – en wens hulle was vry…

  • 33. White Knight  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 38

    Grrrrrrrr, Herrie Merrie, hoekom word ek elke dag hier gemoderate?????

  • 34. White Knight  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 39

    Zoekoe

    En al die drank in die bottel seker ook???😆

  • 35. Adrie  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 40

    Ridder

    Dit is nou nie my skuld as WP dink jy is ongeskik nie. 🙄

    Ek is in ‘n goeie bui en sal jou gou gaan red.

  • 36. ADRIANA  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 41

    Die diere in die dieretuin ken nie vryheid nie. Jy kan nie iets mis wat jy nie ken nie.

    Hulle is in gevangenisskap gebore.

  • 37. Adrie  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 46

    Wit Nag

    Soos ek gese het, dit is omdat jy so blerrie ongeskik is. 👿 😈 Buitendien het die dieretuin my uitgeskop. Ek het te veel drama veroorsaak met die besoekers en personeel.

    He He He

    Ek wil nog moeite doen om by JHB dieretuin uit te kom. Ek was al ‘n paar kere in Harties.

  • 38. Adrie  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 48

    Ag hel. 👿 Dit is die pits as jou eie comments op ‘n blog waarin jy ‘n aandeel het gemoderate word.

    WORDPRESS – Be afraid. Be very afraid.

  • 39. Nats  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 53

    Goeie more julle!!!!

    Ek was jare laas by ‘n dieretuin – dink ek moet bietjie plan maak en weer gaan. Pretoria sin is seker die beter een?

    Ek hou ook nie van om die diere in hokke te sien nie, maar dis hoe hulle groot geword het so hulle ken nie iets anders nie (nie dat dit dit regmaak nie) Maar darem word hulle goed na gekyk – nie soos ander dieretuine nie! Veral nie da in Japan nie… of is dit nou China.

  • 40. Klip  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 56

    Ek werk elke dag in die dieretuin, hier is n klomp fokkers wat nog in apartheid vasgevang is , en as jy nou met hulle praat het hulle dieselfde uitdrukking as van daai arme diere in die dieretuin

  • 41. White Knight  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 9 : 05

    😆😆😆 A3 rejected by her own blog😆😆😆

    Johannesburg dieretuin se uitleg maak dit makliker om te loop as jy kinders of ouer mense by jou het.

  • 42. Adrie  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 9 : 06

    Nats

    Die PTA een is groter. Ek was in gr1 laas in die Jhb dieretuin. Ek het regtig niks teen dieretuine nie. Ek verkies dit bo die wildtuin.

    Klip

    Die meeste van ons werk in die dieretuin.

  • 43. White Knight  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 9 : 06

    Klip

    Moenie die dieretuin met die Zombie hospitaal verwar nie.😯

  • 44. White Knight  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 9 : 07

    A3 Haal jou vinger van die moderation knoppie af.

  • 45. Nats  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 9 : 08

    Adrie
    My tannie was so ruk terug by Jhb sin, en sy het gesê die plek het maar bietjie afgeskeep gelyk – ek hoop dit het in tussen verander!

  • 46. Nats  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 9 : 09

    Adrie
    Ek verkies nou weer die wildtuin. Net jammer ek kom so min daar… miskien moet ek by Wille Q gaan intrek dan kan ek amper elke naweek da wees!!😉

  • 47. Adrie  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 9 : 16

    Ridder

    Jong, jy gaan wens jy was ‘n dier in die dieretuin wat met klippe gegooi word.

    Dalk moet ek die naweek JHB toe gaan. Ou mense en kinders kan gholfkarretjies in PTA ry.

    Nats

    Pta word nou opgradeer.

    Die wildtuin het nie die verskeidenheid van die dieretuin nie. Terloops, die ousie het laat weet sy het ‘n hele trop leeus met welpies gesien.

  • 48. White Knight  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 9 : 21

    Okei, ek vat my perd en waai, kry die boodskap as ek nie meer welkom is nie.😉

  • 49. Adrie  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 9 : 23

    Whahahahahahahahahaha

    Daar val Ridder van sy eie perd af. He He He.

    Dit gebeur nou as ‘n mens grootmeneer wil speel.

    Whaaahahahahahaha

  • 50. White Knight  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 9 : 25

    Hehehe, die regte storie is ek het baie werk en dit is nie noodwendig naby die rekenaar nie.😛

  • 51. Adrie  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 9 : 25

    Jammerte ek het nie my kamera hier nie.

    Ek lag my dood. Die perd ook. 😆

  • 52. Adrie  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 9 : 26

    Ridder

    So se almal. 😉

  • 53. Nats  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 9 : 28

    Adrie
    Stunning!!! Ons het laas in die wildtuin net ‘n leeu se stert gesien!

  • 54. Adrie  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 9 : 45

    Tel, mits jy n foto het om dit te bewys. Al die lazyhorses is nog soek.

  • 55. Zee  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 9 : 54

    More more…..

    Klein Zee gaan Pta en Jhb zoo toe die week tussen Kersfees en nuwe jaar….. Ouma werk vir ‘n change nie..

    Mwah almal! 🙂

  • 56. Adrie  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 9 : 59

    Lo Zee.

    Hoe seker is jy dat jy nie werk nie?

  • 57. Zee  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 10 : 11

    Adriana….. Ek het my verlof mooi beplan… sommer die 24ste ook ingesneak sonder dat hulle weet. Ek het groot nota in kantoor vir almal om te sien.. ONTHOU ZEE GAAN OP VERLOF!!!

  • 58. Adrie  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 10 : 29

    Good for you!🙂

  • 59. Verons  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 10 : 39

    More julle!!
    Ek verkies die wildtuin maar dis vir my te vrek duur!! Ek moet erken ek was baie jare laas (toe my kinders nog baie klein was) by PTA se dieretuin en om eerlik te wees die parkering daar is up to shit!
    Was wel onlangs weer by Hartbeespoort dam se dieretuin gewees en dit het my lus gemaak om die PTA dieretuin te gaan besoek! Sal beslis in die nabye toekoms ‘n plan maak!
    Wat van ons volgende blog party daar hou??🙄

    Dr Clifford Nxomani staan tans aan die hoof van Pta dieretuin

  • 60. Adrie  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 10 : 47

    Verons

    Reel vir ons n blogjol daar en ons kom.

  • 61. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 10 : 50

    Dit bly boring om te sien hoe ‘n dier saar sit…. en staar na jou… amper soos jy na hom staar….. Gaan eerder wildtuin toe – baie beter

  • 62. Adrie  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 10 : 57

    Vat al die mense wat vir liefdadigheid dieretuin toe gesleep word, wildtuin toe. Dan word ek nie in die akwarium vertrap nie. Wen-wen.

  • 63. Adrie  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 11 : 00

    Die bosse, takke, klippe, rooibokke en olifante is eers vervelig. Veral na 2 dae.

  • 64. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 11 : 13

    Dis hoekom ek drink, om die stemme uit te doof, en om die verveling teen te werk !

  • 65. Klip  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 11 : 18

    How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
    Marry It!

  • 66. Klip  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 11 : 20

    Women will never be equal to men..
    Until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and
    Still think they are sexy.

  • 67. Verons  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 11 : 21

    A3 ek dink ons moet dit vir die nuwejaar beplan!
    Zoeks dis mos regoor jou kuierplek man! Voor jy te boring raak kan mens mos net oorie straat stap vir so ‘n lekker ou verversinkie of 2 of 3! hmmmmm😉

  • 68. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 11 : 25

    Mag mens drank daar invat?

  • 69. Klip  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 11 : 25

    It seems that God received a delegation of animals complaining of their lot in life. There was an elephant, a giraffe, and a hen.

    The elephant complained, “Lord, I HATE THIS TRUNK YOU have given me. It gets in the way, and makes me look like a fool!”

    The Lord said, “Don’t complain. It lets you pick up food, drink water, etc. without getting wet!”

    Next the giraffe complained, “Lord, I HATE THIS LONG NECK! It makes me top heavy, I get terrible neck pains, and people laugh at me!”

    The Lord said, “Don’t complain. It lets you pick the best fruit and leaves from the high branches, and allows you to see a distance.”

    The hen spoke up, “Lord, I don’t want to complain, but either let me have a bigger ass or smaller eggs.”

  • 70. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 11 : 26

    Werk daai kabelkarretjies nog? ? ek loop g’n met my coolbox tot bo nie…..

  • 71. Klip  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 11 : 33

    A teacher asked her students to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

    Marta said, “My family went to the Louisville Zoo, and it was fascinating to see all the animals.”

    The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted the word ‘fascinate.'”

    Sarita raised her hand. She said, “My family went to the Cincinnati Zoo and I was fascinated by the animals.”

    “That’s good, too,” said the teacher, “but I wanted the word ‘fascinate.'”

    Little Billy raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because Billy was noted for his bad language, but surely he couldn’t damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

    Billy said proudly, “My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight.”

  • 72. Adrie  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 11 : 37

    Zoekoe

    Jy mag kos en drank in vat. Die kabelkarretjies werk nog. Jy kan ook drank in die dieretuin koop en hulle pryse is redelik.

  • 73. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 11 : 43

    mmmm OK ! dis al wat ek wou weet….. !

  • 74. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 11 : 47

    Maar die plek is baie donker !!!

  • 75. Nats  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 11 : 57

    Nou waar heen is my diere heen??

  • 76. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 11 : 59

    w e g ! slagpale toe om biltong te maak 😆

  • 77. Nats  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 12 : 15

    Aaaaaa daars hulle!!!

    Zoekoe
    Leeu biltong?? I don’t think so!🙂

  • 78. olga  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 12 : 27

    dagse, dagse. ek kom beslis meer in die wildtuin as in die dieretuin. ek verkies die dieretuin enige dag bo die wildtuin. dis erg VERVELIG om die heeldag op jou gat te sit. dikwels is die dieretuin diere vermaak kunstenaars wat ons akteurs korps n les of 2 kan gee in die kuns van vermaak.

  • 79. Klip  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 12 : 33

    The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try to catch it.

    The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest.
    They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

    Then the FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

    Then the LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten raccoon. The raccoon is yelling: “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!”

  • 80. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 12 : 51

    Leeu biltong…. hoekom nie…. het dit nog nie probeer nie… kan lekker wees !!!

  • 81. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 1 : 41

    en weg is almal 🙄

  • 82. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 2 : 02

    ……………..
    ………………………………………
    ……………………………………………………………………….
    ………………………………………
    ………………

  • 83. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 2 : 06

    Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
    One turns to the other and says “dam”

    Two peanuts walk into a bar
    One was a salted.

    A jump-lead walks into a bar.
    The barman says “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

    A sandwich walks into a bar.
    The barman says, “Sorry we don’t serve food in here.”

    A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

    A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
    “A beer please, and one for the road.”

    Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married.
    The ceremony wasn’t much but the reception was brilliant.

    Two cannibals are eating a clown.
    One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”

    “Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The green, green grass of home’.”
    “That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.”
    “Is it common?”
    “It’s not unusual.”

    Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly
    “I was artificially inseminated this morning.”
    “I don’t believe you,” said Dolly.
    “It’s true, no bull!”

    Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
    One says, “I’ve lost my electron.”
    The other says, “Are you sure?”
    The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive…”

  • 84. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 2 : 10

    “Jannie, dis nou die derde keer dat ek jou betrap dat jy by Kosie se werk afkyk!
    Hoekom doen jy dit?” raas Juffrou.
    “Omdat hy so lelik skryf, Juffrou,” antwoord Jannie.

  • 85. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 2 : 12

    Twee mans sit ‘n Vrydagaand laat by die toonbank in ‘n kroeg in Pretoria. “So waar kom jy vandaan?” vra een aan die ander.

    “Van die Vrystaat,” antwoord hy.
    “Ongelooflik! Ek kom ook van die Vrystaat af! Kom ons drink ‘n brandewyn op die Vrystaat en die noodlot wat ons hier saamgebring het! En waar is jy gebore?”

    “Ek is in Bloemfontein gebore,” antwoord die man.

    “Jy lieg! Ek ook! Ek is ook in Bloemfontein gebore! Kom, drink nog ‘n brandewyn daarop. Op Bloemfontein en die noodlot wat ons hier saamgebring het!”

    So gaan dit aan, brandewyn na brandewyn op alles wat hulle in gemeen het. ‘n Man aan die verste punt van die toonbank hou die twee al lank dop, en sy nuuskierigheid raak te erg. “Wat gaan aan met daardie twee?” vra hy aan die kroegman.

    “Ag, ignoreer dit maar,” antwoord hy. “Die Fourie tweeling is alweer gesuip.”

  • 86. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 2 : 16

    Jan strompel laat op ‘n Vrydagaand ‘n kroeg in Brakpan binne. “Kroegman, ‘n whisky vir my, ‘n whisky vir jou, en ‘n whisky vir al my vriende in die kroeg!” skree hy.

    “Baie dankie, dis besonder gaaf van jou,” sê die kroegman en skink vir Jan, homself en al sy klante drankies. Jan slaan sy whisky weg en skree weer: “Kroegman, ‘n whisky vir my, ‘n whisky vir jou, en ‘n whisky vir al my vriende in die kroeg!”

    “Dis baie gaaf,” antwoord die kroegman, “maar wil jy nie eers vir die eerste rondte betaal nie?”

    “Ek kan nie,” sê Jan. “Ek het nie ‘n enkele sent by my nie.”

    Hoogs ontstoke gryp die kroegman vir Jan en smyt hom met ‘n paar skoppe by die deur uit. ‘n Uur later is Jan egter terug, hierdie keer nog dronker.

    “Kroegman, ‘n whisky vir my, en ‘n whisky vir al my vriende in die kroeg!” skree hy. “En ek neem aan jy gaan vir my ook ‘n whisky aanbied?” vra die kroegman sarkasties.

    “Nee,” sê Jan. “Jy raak aggressief wanneer jy drink.”

  • 87. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 2 : 19

    BO
    RI
    NG

    BL
    OG

  • 88. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 2 : 22

    The Washington Post’s yearly contest where readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words — and the winners are…

    1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

    2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

    3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

    4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

    5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

    6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

    7. Lymph (v), to walk with a lisp.

    8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

    9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

    10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

    11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

    12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.

    13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

    14. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.

    15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

    16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

  • 89. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 2 : 24

    1) I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. I said, Thyroid problem?

    2) When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

    3) My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

    4) I’ve often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming.

    5) I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don’t get on with my real ladder.

    6) I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

    7) Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said – ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me’, and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way.

    8) My Dad used to say ‘always fight fire with fire’, which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.

    9) Sex is like a game of bridge: If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

    10) I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said ‘Are you going to help?’ I said ‘No, Six should be enough.’

    11) If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?

    12) I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

    13) You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.

  • 90. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 2 : 27

    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know.

    I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.
    A man answered, saying, “Hello.”
    I politely said, “This is Andrew. Could I please speak with Robin Carter?”
    Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so rude.
    I tracked down Robin’s correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number.
    After hanging up with her, I decided to call the ‘wrong’ number again.
    When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, “You’re an a$$hole!” and hung up.
    I wrote his number down with the word ‘a$$hole’ next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.
    Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I’d call him up and yell, “You’re an a$$hole!”
    It always cheered me up.

    When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic ‘a$$hole’ calling would have to stop.
    So, I called his number and said, “Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company.
    I’m just calling to see if you’re familiar with the Caller ID program?”
    He yelled, “NO!” and slammed the phone down.
    I quickly called him back and said, “That’s because you’re an a$$hole!”

    One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
    Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.
    I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot.
    The idiot ignored me. I noticed a “For Sale” sign in his car window so… I wrote down his number.

    A couple of days later, right after calling the first a$$hole, (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW a$$hole too.
    I said, “Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?” “Yes, it is.”
    “Can you tell me where I can see it?”
    “Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It’s a yellow house, and the car’s parked right out in front.”
    “What’s your name?” I asked. “My name is Don Hansen,” he said.
    “When’s a good time to catch you, Don?” “I’m home every evening after five.”
    “Listen, Don, can I tell you something?”
    “Yes?”
    “Don, you’re an a$$hole.”
    Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two a$$holes to call.

    But after several months of calling them, it wasn’t as enjoyable as it used to be.
    So, I came up with an idea. I called A$$hole #1.
    “Hello.”
    “You’re an a$$hole!” (But I didn’t hang up.)
    “Are you still there?” he asked.
    “Yeah,” I said.
    “Stop calling me,” he screamed.
    “Make me,” I said.
    “Who are you?” he asked.
    “My name is Don Hansen.”
    “Yeah? Where do you live?”
    “A$$hole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front.”
    He said, “I’m coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.”
    I said, “Yeah, like I’m really scared, a$$hole.”

    Then I called A$$hole #2.
    “Hello?” he said.
    “Hello, a$$hole,” I said.
    He yelled, “If I ever find out who you are?”
    “You’ll what?” I said.
    “I’ll kick your a$$,” he exclaimed.
    I answered, “Well, a$$hole, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now.”
    Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
    Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.
    I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street.
    There I saw two a$$holes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.

    NOW, I feel better Anger management at it’s very best.

  • 91. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 2 : 29

    nou’s ek verveeld

  • 92. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 2 : 33

    Things to Do in an Elevator

    1) When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap him on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.

    2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock.
    Smile, and go back for more.

    3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

    4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you’re on.

    5) Hold the doors open and say you’re waiting for a friend.
    After a while, let the doors close, and say, “Hi Greg. How’s your day been?”

    6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”

    7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

    8) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

    9) Lay down the Twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

    10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask him if he can hear ticking.

    11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

    12) Ask, “Did you feel that?”

    13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing him occasionally.

    14) When the doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay, don’t panic, they open again!”

    15) Swat at flies that don’t exist.

    16) Tell people that you can see their aura.

    17) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, “Shut up, all of you, just shut up!”

    18) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, “Got enough air in there?”

    19) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

    20) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce in horror, “You’re one of THEM!” and back away slowly.

    21) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

    22) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

    23) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

    24) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, “I have new socks on.”

    25) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, “This is MY personal space!”

  • 93. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 2 : 34

    Lyk my ek sal alleen 100 komments moet maak vandag…..🙄

  • 94. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 2 : 39

    Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

    Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s bum.”

    Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

    Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

    Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs?

    Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

    If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me!!!)

    If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

    If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

    Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

    Stop singing and read on…

    Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

    Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

    Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

  • 95. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 2 : 40

    ((((((((((((((((GAAAAAAAAAAAAP))))))))))))))))))))

    ek dink ek moet huistoe gaan

  • 96. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 2 : 47

    A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table.

    The wife asks, “Do you know her?”

    “Yes,” sighs the husband. “She’s my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”

    “My goodness!” says the wife. “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”

  • 97. Zoekoe  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 2 : 50

    OK ! eks klaar – BAAI

  • 98. Pikkelik  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 3 : 48

    Whahahahahahahaha!!!!!! huiswerk!

  • 99. Olga  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 4 : 30

    zoekoe, jy was net 3 kort vir 100. mensig. het jy nie uithou vermoe nie?

  • 100. Olga  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 4 : 31

    want ek kan.

  • 101. Olga  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 4 : 33

    zoekoe het aan n identiteits krisis gely vandag. hy het gedink hy is klip.

  • 102. Wille Kjind Q  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 6 : 34

    LAASTE!

  • 103. Olga  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 6 : 41

    jeeeeeiiiiii!!!! die leeue het nog nie vir willekjend opgevreet nie.

  • 104. lola  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 7 : 17

    Ek verkies die dieretuin. Daar is meer dier soorte sigbaar en mens kan meer doen as net sit en suip.

  • 105. lola  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 7 : 21

    Die wildtuin is egter nie so duur nie. Tensy jy daar oorslaap. As jy egter buite slaap en jou eie kos en drinkgoed saamneem, verminder die koste aansienlik. inangsgeld is R33 pp.

  • 106. Olga  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 7 : 29

    why are we waiting?

  • 107. Wille Kjind Q  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 7 : 37

    Olga……:mrgreen:

  • 108. Wille Kjind Q  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 7 : 41

    Lola….. Die willetuin het baja meer diere as die dieretuin. En jyt net ‘n wildcard norig om in te ga. Die verblyf binne is ook goedkoper as die plekkies buite😉

  • 109. Wille Kjind Q  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 7 : 43

    Ek wens ek het permanent binne die willetuin gebly

  • 110. Wille Kjind Q  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 7 : 44

    👿

  • 111. lola  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 37

    Wat vertel jy my willekind? Ek woon amper oorkant die krugerhek. EK het ook wildcard. Maar nie almal het wildcard nie. Die diere in die wildtuin is dikwels weke lank nie te sien nie.

  • 112. lola  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 39

    Terwyl hulle altyd in die dieretuin in hulle hokkies sigbaar is. Ek troos my daaraan dat die dieretuin diere net die geborgde lewe van hulle hokke ken.

  • 113. Adrie  |  Desember 11, 2008 om 8 : 54

    Ek werk aan die nuwe blog.

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